Girl with Guitar Read online

  For H.G.S.

  Never be afraid to follow your dreams. And your heart.

  In Loving Memory

  Nikkole Lynn Hapner

  11.13.81 – 03.16.12

  I know you’re listening to our favorite songs in Heaven. The soundtrack of our many crazy adventures is the one that will never stop playing in my head. Until we meet again my sweet friend. Put on some Lynyrd Skynyrd when you see me coming.

  “HI, Daddy.” Kylie’s usually clear voice was soft and thick with emotion. At eighteen, she knew she sounded more like an eight-year-old when she spoke to him.

  “Darla finally kicked me out…another one of her friends paid too much attention to me.” She rolled her eyes, and heavy wet tears slid out. She wiped her face with the back of her hand while cussing herself for crying.

  “Don’t know why she wastes her time on any of them. None of them could ever compare to you.” She huffed out a laugh over the dull pain in her chest. “I should probably write a song about it, huh?” She had big news, so she rushed on. “Speaking of songs, I’m going to Nashville like we talked about.” Even though no one else was around, she lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’m going to make you proud, I promise.”

  After taking a few breaths and waiting for her tears to cease, she leaned closer, tracing the letters of their last name on the temporary marker. “Soon you’ll have a real one, I swear. I don’t care what I have to do. We’ll get one of those fancy marble ones, like Mama has. Maybe get a guitar engraved on it. Would you like that?” Sobs racked her shoulders, familiar tremors accompanied by a hollow ache pulling her inward when he didn’t answer.

  There was more, so much more she wanted to say. So many things she should’ve said before it was too late. But just like in her nightmares, the ones where she was getting ready to go on stage and couldn’t remember the lyrics to any of her songs, her throat tightened. Trapping the words within below the painful lump rising above. A horn sounded in the distance.

  Her cab was waiting. It was time to go. So she said the one thing she wished she had the last time she saw him.

  “Goodbye, Daddy.”

  OKLAHOMA was a lot prettier when it was blurring out of sight. Even if it was hazy from the tears clouding her vision. The Greyhound jarred Kylie and her belongings. The ride was rough and smelled of gasoline, but she felt better than she had in months. She should’ve said goodbye to her best friend, Lulu, but she knew she’d just talk her out of it.

  She’d visited her dad’s grave and said her goodbyes, praying he’d understand.

  After going by the house and seeing that Darla wasn’t home, she’d used her key one last time. Kylie found her old pink suitcase, the one she’d used when visiting her grandmother before she’d passed. Once she’d crammed everything she could into it, she grabbed a banana and a Coke and called a cab to take her to the bus station.

  She was $100 richer than she’d planned since her former boss, Ms. Pam, had felt guilty about letting her go and been generous. Kylie knew the money had probably come out of the old woman’s own pocket. The cab ride to Oklahoma City had taken most of it.

  Kylie clutched her guitar case and stared at her nearly transparent reflection in the window. A few lyrics floated through her mind about holding what you have as you let go of what you’ve lost, but she didn’t have the energy to write them down. It was a thirteen-hour bus ride that cost her a hundred and fifty bucks, but it was worth it.

  THREE filthy gas station bathrooms later, Kylie found herself in the heart of Nashville. It was even more amazing than she’d imagined, but the bus ride had pretty much sucked all of the hope right out of her.

  She got out her cell phone and pulled up the app to find the nearest hotel. There was an Extended Stay Nashville near Printer’s Alley that only ran about sixty bucks a night. It was do-able. Maybe not for long, but all she needed was something to focus on right now.

  Anything to keep her mind off the fact that she might’ve just made the biggest mistake of her life.

  After checking in and showering, she broke down and called her best friend. When she told her where she was, Lulu’s reaction was pretty much what she expected.

  “Have you lost your ever-loving mind?” Yes.

  “I know it sounds crazy Lu, but—”

  “Sounds crazy? No, it is freaking crazy. Kylie, you’re all alone in a city you’ve never been to before where you don’t know anyone. What if something happens to you? What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Please listen.”

  “Listening.” Lulu sighed her impatience through the phone. She sounded a lot closer than she actually was.

  Kylie took a deep breath and tried to explain her temporary insanity. “I lost my dad, Darla kicked me out after she walked in on what she thought was another one of her skeezy boyfriends trying to make a move, and then I went to work and got fired. Don’t take this the wrong way, Lu, but when you bailed on our Nashville trip this summer, I felt like I was about to lose my dream, too. There’s nothing for me in Pride, Oklahoma. And please do not guilt trip me because, as long as I can afford to keep my phone on, we can talk every day. I swear.”

  “You know I couldn’t go to Nashville because I have to visit my dad in California. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to go with you. But he rearranged his whole schedule and it’s been so long since—”

  “I get it, I do. Trust me. If I could have one day back with my dad, there’s not much I wouldn’t trade to get it. It’s just…it was time. I can’t explain it, but this is where I’m meant to be.” Kylie had cut her friend off because she did understand, completely. If she could have one more day with her dad, she’d pick that over watching her friend choke at open mic night any day.

  Her best friend let out an exaggerated huff that sounded almost like understanding. Lulu’s voice was softer when she spoke again. “Soo…the stepmonster’s boy toy. Anything really happen?”

  Kylie laughed. “That is what you’d be thinking about. Sorry, but no. It was totally innocent. Awkward as hell, but innocent. I spilled my Coke on my work shirt and he was in the middle of loaning me one to replace it. Darla just walked in at the wrong moment and freaked. Pretty sure she’s been looking for an excuse to get rid of me for a while now.”

  After Kylie’s dad had been killed in a freak accident at the factory where he worked, his widow, the thirty-five-year-old former beauty queen, had made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested in letting Kylie continue to live in the house she’d grown up in.

  “So like, what are you going to do there?” Lulu sounded more concerned than judgmental. Kylie could practically see her friend’s brow wrinkling as she twirled a lock of her hair, whatever color it was today.

  “Um, I just checked into a hotel that I should be able to afford for at least a week. I’m going to get up early tomorrow and walk Music Row and Printer’s Alley looking for bars and diners that might be hiring.”

  “Okay, then what?”

  “Then I’m going to put an ad in the paper. ‘Girl with guitar, needs money to record demo, will do anything.’” Kylie laughed but she could hear her best friend mumbling obscenities. “I’m kidding, Lu. I’m going to sign up for every amateur night I can get on the list for and save my pennies until I can record a demo. Then I’ll send it out and pray.”

  She was already scheduled to perform at The Rum Room’s upcoming open mic night. They’d had an all call on a website that Kylie had come across and she’d signed up months ago. It was the reason for the trip she and her best friend had planned…and canceled.

  “I’ll pray too,” her best friend whispered. Kylie suspected from the sniffles she heard that she might be crying.

  “How are the twins?” Lulu’s six-year-old brothers usually served as a t
opic for lighter conversation. Since her mom worked two jobs, Lulu was pretty much raising them while attending beauty school in Owasso part-time. When they first started talking, both boys had pronounced Olivia as Lulu, and the nickname had stuck. Kylie couldn’t even imagine calling her friend anything else.

  “They’re good. Rotten as usual, and Lord help me if I find one more lizard or slimy-ass frog they’ve brought in this trailer…”

  Kylie giggled, though she couldn’t help the twinge of envy she felt towards her friend for having a family. People to eat meals with, talk to, laugh with, argue with. She’d lost all of that when her dad died.

  “Love you, Lu. I’m going to be okay, I promise,” Kylie said, because she was too tired to keep talking. She hoped this didn’t count as a lie since she at least hoped it was true.

  A few bucks short of a hundred dollars to her name, Kylie was ready to give up on whatever crazy-ass dream she’d chased to Nashville. Nearly two weeks at the hotel, plus food, and still no job had left her with next to nothing.

  After the fourth rejection that Saturday, she trudged around town aimlessly. Everywhere she’d gone had a waiting list a mile long. For waitresses. Many of which were aspiring singers and songwriters. So much for being original. Nearly a year of saving money to buy her father a headstone, and it was gone in two weeks. Only two places had even taken her resume after she filled out an application. A restaurant called the Back Alley Diner and a bar slash nightclub called Whiskey Jack’s. Neither had called. In fact, no one had called.

  A red guitar’s bright neon lights flickered to life as Kylie passed underneath. Somehow she’d wandered to The Rum Room. The Amateur Night she was signed up for at this exact bar was still two weeks away, and the way things were going she might be homeless by then. Darla had gotten her dad’s ‘88 Chevy pickup when he died so Kylie wouldn’t even have that to sleep in when she ran out of hotel money. She’d already filled out an application to waitress at The Rum Room, but she sulked in anyways, figuring there would at least be some decent music to listen to on a Saturday night.

  A bluesy band with a jazzy twang was on stage when Kylie entered. She paid the six dollar cover, knowing good and well that it would cost her a meal. But the more she heard of the band, the more she was convinced it was worth it.

  Kylie lowered herself into a seat near the bar and listened with her entire body. Within minutes her boot was tapping along with the bass and her body swayed with the singer’s soothing voice. Yeah, this was definitely better than food any day.

  “What can I getcha, darlin’?” a brunette waitress with hair teased to Jesus asked. She reminded Kylie of a younger Ms. Pam, her boss back in Oklahoma, but with more eye shadow and a better body.

  “Um, I’m really just here to see the band,” Kylie answered, knowing she didn’t need to waste another three bucks on a Coke.

  “Got it. Enjoy.” The waitress winked and spun over to another table.

  Kylie knew that look. The woman had thought she was a fangirl groupie. She surveyed the crowd and it was mostly young and female. Ah. Usually she found those girls shallow and annoying for the most part, but at that particular moment the lead singer was looking pretty hot. Though it didn’t seem to be him everyone was here to see. Most of the other clientele were busy texting and paying more attention to each other than the band.

  “Damn it, where the hell is he?” Two men stood between Kylie’s seat and the bar. They didn’t seem too happy to see each other.

  “He’ll be here, Clive. The bus got stuck in traffic,” a handsome gray-haired man with a goatee promised a heavy set man who wore rings on nearly every finger.

  “This is the third time, Pauly. I don’t give a damn who he is, he’s taking up valuable slots and pissing people off. Most importantly, me.”

  “Um, Clive?” Kylie’s waitress looked less than enthusiastic about interrupting the two men.

  “Yeah?” the man who must have been Clive responded, glaring at her as if she were responsible for all the world’s problems. Kylie knew it was impolite to stare but she felt a little scared for the waitress who’d been so nice to her before.

  “Kimmie’s not coming. She got an offer to play at some big time party so she won’t be making her shift.”

  “You gotta be kidding me.” Clive dragged a thick hand over his face. “Tell her she’s fired.”

  “Um, seriously? Clive we’re shorthanded as it is and who else is going to handle hospitality and the green room?” The waitress shifted her tray to the other arm.

  “I’m looking at her, unless you want to collect your last check the same day Kimmie does.” The large man glared at the brunette until she nodded and backed away. Once she was gone he went back to arguing with Pauly.

  Kylie said a quick prayer and held her breath. “Hey, um, ma’am?” she called out, flagging down the waitress.

  “Yeah, sugar. You change your mind?” The woman sat her tray on Kylie’s table and pulled out her order pad.

  “Um, oh, uh no.”

  The weary-looking woman lowered her tablet. “Then what can I do for you?”

  Kylie could tell she was starting to get pissed. “I’m a waitress. I mean, I have waitressing experience and good references and—”

  “Can you start right now?”

  Kylie’s heart leapt into her throat. “Yeah! I mean, yes ma’am.”

  “How old are you?” The woman eyed her up and down.

  “Eighteen.” She almost added that she’d be nineteen in two months, but that sounded like something a little kid would say.

  “Okay, listen close because I’m only going to say this once. You are my cousin who just moved here from…hell, where are you from?”

  “Oklahoma.”

  “Perfect. I’m Tonya by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you, cuz.” Kylie grinned.

  Tonya just rolled her eyes. “Let’s go, kid.”

  After a gruff introduction to Clive himself, who apparently owned the place, Tonya tossed Kylie a menu and an apron and told her she was hired.

  An hour in, Kylie knew this was nothing like Pam’s Country Kitchen, the homestyle buffet she’d worked at back home, and that she’d just gotten in way over her head. Though the tips were much better. Three hours in, the band that was supposed to show still hadn’t and Clive was livid. Kylie had been pinched and patted in places she didn’t even want to think about by customers she could barely see in the dimly lit bar. But no way in hell was she going to mention that to Clive.

  Her back ached, her feet were numb, and her head pounded. When Clive passed by and asked how it was going, she smiled broadly and said, “Fantastic!” with all the enthusiasm she could muster. He grunted something that seemed remotely like approval and moved on. When Tonya said it was break time, Kylie nearly collapsed into the nearest chair.

  Tonya grabbed her by the shoulder and hauled her right back up. “Oh no, cuz. Got something to show you.” The waitress led Kylie past the stage and down a hallway that she hadn’t even noticed before.

  “Hospitality room for media.” Tonya rapped on a door to her left just as she pushed it open. The plush room was mostly beige with some wooden accents. A couch that probably cost as much as Kylie’s house back home sat up against a wall. A small dark table with two wooden chairs sat next to it. A long buffet table held the remnants of what looked like a pretty impressive dinner buffet. Picked-over portions of barbecued chicken, pasta salad, a fruit tray, and a few rolls remained.

  Kylie’s stomach growled at the sight. She’d been living on stale pizza for nearly two weeks.

  “You hungry?” Tonya had obviously noticed Kylie’s mouth watering.

  “A little,” she said, sure she was turning red with embarrassment.

  “Well, help yourself. Eat while we walk.”

  Kylie scooped up a piece of chicken, stuffed it into a roll, and followed Tonya out the door.

  “Okay so, hospitality room for media is cake compared to the green room,” she said as she opened
the door at the end of the hall.

  Kylie nearly choked on her sandwich. This room alone was nicer than the bar itself. A leather sectional sat across from a flat screen television that took up most of the wall. A large oak table contained trays filled with chicken wings, sliders, and potato skins covered in cheese. Bottles of beer and water sat next to the spread. Kylie snagged a bottle of water on her way past.

  Beyond that was a small but nice kitchen with a stainless steel fridge and microwave. A pool table and mini bar were tucked behind the kitchen. Around the corner was a bathroom complete with a shower stall.

  “This room is nicer than where I’m staying,” she told Tonya.

  “Yeah, it’s nicer than my apartment, too, and a hell of a lot harder to clean.”

  “It’s my job to clean it, isn’t it?” Kylie asked as reality set it. Okay, no problem, she thought to herself. A dream come true had to come with a downside.

  “Yeah.” Tonya smiled with sympathy in her eyes. “But we’ll tag team it till you get the hang of it.”

  “Thanks.” Kylie didn’t know if this woman was an angel or just a decent human being, but she really wanted to hug her. She resisted, but just barely. “So um, how much…I just mean, not that it’s a big deal or anything.” Kylie stuttered over the embarrassing question.

  “Enough,” Tonya answered with a wink. “Just be sure you tip out the bartender every night and all will be well.”

  Kylie had done that with the hostesses at Pam’s. But only like five percent. “How much do you tip out?”

  “Twenty percent is standard, thirty if you want to get your drinks to your customers before they grow old. Tips will be shitty tonight ‘cause some hotshot singer was a no-show, but most nights it’s pretty good.”

  “Got it. Anything else I should know?”

  “Yeah, until Clive puts you on the schedule, you’re just auditioning and this isn’t Oklahoma, honey. You were in the right place at the right time and I appreciate it, believe me.” Tonya cocked one hip and placed a hand on it. When she spoke again, her voice was softer. “I have a two-year-old home with a babysitter, and if you hadn’t come along I’d be cleaning these rooms until three in the morning. But Clive…he’s, well, he’s a hard ass.” Kylie watched the woman shrug. “We open at two every afternoon. It’s appetizers only until four when they fire up the grill. Most acts go on at seven. We’re supposed to kick everyone out at midnight but most nights regulars stay till two. Sometimes the bands don’t leave until then and we can’t clean the rooms until they’re gone.”